Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
