careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
this boner is exhausting
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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