Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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