I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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