Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
