First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
