The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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