hotel room ftw
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Randomize
