I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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