I like to think it a success when the cops are called
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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