I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
