some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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