Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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