Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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