I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
