The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
