i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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