She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
