Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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