K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
