we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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