i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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