my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
