i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
