I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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