I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Your cock deserves a montage
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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