Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
