where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
