You work out of a Hotel?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
