Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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