hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
