why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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