Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
