im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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