New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
