...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Houston, we have a squirter
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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