Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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