Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
