just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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