You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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