it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
