I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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