I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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