haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
