meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
