you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
