so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
