i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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