we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
