What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
