i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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