It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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