One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
