I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize