Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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