try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
