some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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