I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
