it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
