Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
