so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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